It’s All Good

This first part is based on real events.

Last night, I specifically prayed that people would buy my book online entitled, “just hold on: finding hope in the face of suicide.”  (justholdonbook.com)

This morning I woke up to an email supposedly from Square (my online store that sells my book) saying that there had been $5009.00 deposited into my account! I only rejoiced for about a millisecond before reality body slammed me. This was a hoax, a ruse, fake news, a lie, all designed to steal my identity and ultimately all of my money. I smile now because I didn’t fall for it. But what if I had?

What follows next is a complete fabrication. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

The fake Denise Haas takes a cruise to the Cayman Islands, rents a bungalow, eats caviar, squid and drinks too much. Because she has picked a poor person to rip off, her card is declined and she is thrown into a Jamaican jail. When she is released after four years, she decides to go find the real Denise Haas and give her a piece of her mind and definitely give her identity back.

Following leads, she finds herself in a small town. She decides to go to a county fair for a corn dog because she’s been craving one for years. As she walks away from the corn dog stand, she steps on a piece of paper. She reaches down to see what it says. It’s a flyer for “DHaas Detective Agency.” She is shocked to find that the detective’s name is Denise Haas who specializes in finding missing persons. It’s Friday, so she calls and makes an appointment for Monday. The imposter still has Denise Haas’s credit cards, so she decides to get a new wardrobe because she lost so much weight in the Jamaican jail. She gets a hotel room, takes a shower, gets dressed in a brand new outfit, and sends out for pizza. When the pizza guy arrives, he robs her and she is left without a penny to her name— well, Denise’s name. Dazed and confused, she calls the police to report the theft. When the police come they realize that there is a warrant for HER arrest. She is handcuffed and taken to jail… again.

While she is in state prison, an all-woman band comes in to preach the Gospel. The woman’s life flashes before her eyes, she realizes that she needs Jesus, runs up to the front and is gloriously saved! With three years left on her sentence, she ends up leading 215 women to Christ. When she’s released from prison, a well-known Christian TV program features her life which reaches hundreds of thousands of people and her story goes viral.

She preaches the Gospel to a couple of very famous, female talk show hosts, and actually leads one of the premier late-night hosts to Jesus. Just when she thinks it can’t get any better, the Nobel Peace Prize committee informs her that she is now a candidate for one of the most prestigious awards in the world.

But that’s not all! In her travels, she meets a high-profile actor/director and gets a part as a cab driver in a movie being shot in Saskatoon, Canada. She ends up counseling several people on the set and not just that set; she becomes a “Counselor to the Stars!”
Countless actors are so grateful that they take up a collection to raise the $30,000 to give her a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

She lives a full life and dies happy in her Malibu beach house at the ripe old age of 91.

The moral of the story: Always trust God and try to be careful, but if someone steals your stuff, it could be more trouble than it’s worth, or it could end up making you famous. Either way, it’s all good.

* “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

Shalom, and thanks for reading!

Big D

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